Recently I learned that I was hard to work with. That I rarely shared or felt like other people wanted to take my shine. I was shocked and hurt when I first heard it. Fifteen years ago, I would have agreed with that. I didn’t know who I was nor what I wanted to do and be when I’d grew up. If you’d ask my family they’d tell you that I have always been a very opinionated person which to this day is very true but mostly people only hear me talk instead of listening to what I am actually saying. All throughout my life people would doubt me, not believe what I was saying or felt as if my opinion and suggestions were off only to find out later that they had pitched the exact same thing I was talking about earlier and all of a sudden found everyone around themselves agreeing to what “they” had come up with. Today, I experience the same things happening in meetings: whenever I’d pitch an idea or have something critical to say people would roll their eyes and dismiss my idea. In either the same meeting or a couple of weeks later, I’d hear one of my male coworkers or even one of my fellow business women recite my words and all of a sudden that’s now the thing to do.
See, I only voice my opinion when I know what I am talking about or have experienced it myself or did plenty of research on the topic. If I don’t, I shut up because there are experts out there that I am happy and eager to learn from. Yet, all people see, and unfortunately many women do, too, as in the incidents that I told you about initially, interpret my persona as bitchy and difficult to deal with when really all I do is have faith and confidence in myself and who I am, in my work and my spirit.
If you really listened to what I am saying, you’d see and understand that I only have the best interest at heart and all I want to do is help people...And to my women out there, I hope that one day you will be able to look behind all the superficial bulls* and start uplifting each other instead of bullying and tearing each other apart because of stupid insecurities and envy. -Thank you!